A man escapes from prison after serving 15 years and breaks into a house, looking for money and weapons. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He ties the woman to the bed, leans over her, kisses her neck, and then heads to the bathroom.
While he’s in there, the husband nervously whispers to his wife, “That guy is an escaped convict—just look at his clothes! He’s probably been in prison for years and hasn’t been near a woman in all that time. I saw him kiss your neck. If he wants anything, don’t resist. Just go along with it, no matter how awful it seems. Be strong, honey. I love you.”
The wife calmly replies, “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he’s gay, said he thought you were cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it’s in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you, too.”
Summarize:
An escaped convict, having served 15 years in prison, breaks into a house late at night in search of money and weapons. Inside, he discovers a young couple asleep in bed. The man immediately takes control of the situation, tying the woman to the bed. In a seemingly threatening act, he leans down and kisses her neck before leaving the room to head into the bathroom.
As soon as the convict is out of earshot, the husband, overwhelmed by fear and the gravity of the situation, whispers urgently to his wife. Observing the convict’s ragged clothing and demeanor, he concludes that the man is extremely dangerous and desperate. The husband tells his wife that the convict has likely been deprived of female companionship for years and may intend to assault her.
He pleads with her to do whatever is necessary to survive, no matter how difficult or demeaning it might feel. In an attempt to prepare her for the worst, he encourages her to comply with the convict’s demands, reasoning that resistance might provoke violence. His love for her shines through his words as he reassures her, saying, “Be strong, honey. I love you.”
To the husband’s astonishment, his wife responds calmly and with unexpected clarity about the situation. Instead of confirming his fears, she reveals that the convict wasn’t kissing her neck as he believed. Instead, she explains that the man had leaned in to whisper something in her ear.
The wife recounts the convict’s surprising admission: he told her he was gay, found the husband attractive, and had asked her if they had any Vaseline in the house. Without hesitation, she had told him where to find it, directing him to the bathroom. Echoing her husband’s earlier words, she adds, “Be strong, honey. I love you, too.”
This twist transforms the tense and terrifying moment into a scenario laced with irony and dark humor. What initially appears to be a grave threat to the wife takes an unexpected turn, shifting the convict’s attention entirely to the husband. The stark contrast between the husband’s fear-driven assumptions and the convict’s true intentions adds an element of comedic surprise.
This brief story not only plays with expectations but also highlights the dynamics of miscommunication under duress. The husband, interpreting the convict’s actions through the lens of his own fear, leaps to conclusions that are ultimately incorrect. Meanwhile, the wife’s composed response and clarity of thought provide the true—and unexpectedly humorous—perspective on the situation.
The tale cleverly blends tension and humor, turning what begins as a harrowing escape story into a moment of ironic levity. The convict, whose actions could easily have spiraled into violence, instead becomes the source of a bizarre twist that defuses the tension. The wife’s calm demeanor and her willingness to share the convict’s surprising message add to the comedic contrast, providing a moment of unexpected relief in an otherwise alarming scenario.
In just a few sentences, this story delivers a compelling mix of suspense, humor, and irony, making it an amusing anecdote with a lesson in the dangers of jumping to conclusions. It reminds us that situations often aren’t as they initially appear and that even in moments of high tension, unexpected humor can emerge.
